Dream On
22 February 2004 @ 5:00 pm

Beings as I'm totally broke, I found a way to make a little extra money. Donating plasma!

It's the most horrible thing ever, but you make 30$ in 45 minutes. That's a hell of a lot better than I am making now.

They prick your finger every time, which sucks, they weigh you, which sucks, and your strapped to a machine that sucks out your blood, centrifuges out the plasma and pumps the blood back in, which sucks. So now I walk around with what looks like track marks all the time, because you can donate every 48 hours. And on top of it, every crack head in the state comes in looking to get paid.

Other than that, life is normal. I apologize about the inconsistency of my updates. I'm sure all my pretties out there are disappointed that I've seemed to disappear. I'm just working and drinking.

Oh yes. Matt and I got into a huge fight the other night. I have my yearly gynecologist appointment right before Valentine's Day, and Matt and I had decided that after 7 months or so of winging it that I should start on birth control.

My appointment went well, everything was fine, and she gave me a script for the Pill.

Well, on the way home I decided to make a joke with Matt, that the OBGYN wouldn't give me an RX because I was already pregnant. Matt at first was like "Are you serious?" and I told him right away that it was a joke. Once I had told him it was a joke, Matt fucking flipped out and called me a cunt. He knows that's the one word he's not allowed to use, period. So I hung up on him.

He called back and I didn't answer the phone, so he sent me a message saying that I needed to drop off his car, gave him the keys and get out. I was just so dumbfounded, I didn�t know what to do. I never ever expected him to lose it like he did over a joke that lasted like 20 seconds.

I ended up going home after about an hour and a half because I had to find someone to stay with that night. When I got home he wouldn't let me leave, and continued to call me names and tell me that he was glad I was leaving, I had fucked up his life, he hated, all his friends hated me, blah blah blah. Just absolute bullshit, and the whole time I had someone waiting outside for me 'cause I was planning on going out and getting drunk beyond recognition. I'm sure the neighbors heard us, hell I'm sure the police station down the block heard us.

He finally ended up blaming the fact that he's been stressed out, and I was away too much for work, and all kinds of lame shit. But I'm just a stupid girl, I wouldn't leave if he pointed a gun to my head.

...


Every time that I look in the mirror
All these lines in my face gettin' clearer
The past is gone.
It went by like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way?
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay.

Older Entries
This is the end of it. - 29 March 2004
Dream On - 22 February 2004
Until the Day I Die - 24 January 2004
It hurts to love him - 22 December 2003
Blood Brothers - 21 December 2003