Heavy With Mood
17 December 2003 @ 6:10 pm

I am back.

I'm so poor right now, that I can't even afford any banner ads (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge). But anyway, I'm working making money, scaping by. We can't have a Christmas this year, because we owe the lawyer $750 right before Christmas. It sucks. Don't let your signifigant others get criminal speeding tickets right before the holidays.

I tried really hard while I was away not to cut. It didn't work. The crooks of my arms are still full of little scabbies. Nasty Business.

Matt found the razors in my purse. He was pretty upset, but I told him that's the way it is. Period.

...

I went outside in the cold the other day, and sat under one of the few trees in Arizona that loses it's leaves. I just sat with my bum frozen to the ground and let the leaves fall all over me. It was so... calming. It was like someone was crying for me. Someone cared. And for a moment I let it go, and just spaced out. I felt better afterwards, but I couldn't help but think that if I stayed sitting there forever eventually I would just rot away and become buried by the leaves and the earth. It was too tempting, I had to leave.


...

When I'm gone like yesterday
When I'm high like heaven
When I'm strong like music
'Cuz I'm slow like honey, and
Heavy with mood

Older Entries
This is the end of it. - 29 March 2004
Dream On - 22 February 2004
Until the Day I Die - 24 January 2004
It hurts to love him - 22 December 2003
Blood Brothers - 21 December 2003