Everything
01 June 2003 @ 9:14 pm

I can't even begin to explain what this one person can do to me.

...

It starts slowly. Gradually. In the middle of my chest. Just a faint tingling. A warmth that spreads silently. I stop thinking. You. That's all. Just you. Worries shrink and diminish. Everything's bright now. The rainclouds have left. I feel giddy like a school girl. This is too good to be true. Why me? Of all people? Why me? The questions stop. I leave myself to feel. The pureness. The intensity. The 'you'.

...

Then it leaves. Just a hollow shell. The world is cold. How empty. How mean. If only I could make you mine. Would you be happy? Would I? I feel cheap. Dirty. Unworthy next to you. I could never ask you to come down. Not for me. Not ever. But I would not stop you. If that is your choice.

...

Setting myself up for a fall again. Pick your weapon of choice. I will bring it to you. Naive. Helpless. Just make it quick. Do it properly. Make it so I will never hurt myself again. Please?

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This is the end of it. - 29 March 2004
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