Untitled
08 November 2003 @ 12:58 am

Ethan paced in front of me, occasionally pushing a hand over his forehead. �The world is stupid,� he said. I knew he was worried, not just because he couldn�t stop moving, but because Ethan agrees with me that the word stupid does not belong in the English language. �Why don�t you sit?� I suggested gently, and gestured towards the chair beside me. Ethan looked at me uncomprehendingly for a moment, and then finally started nodding, abruptly and vigorously. �Yeah. Yeah, that a good idea. I�ll sit.� He looked at me again, without nodding or pacing, but did not sit. He was upset, but I liked seeing him that way. Completely naked, and with his torment splayed everywhere, he seemed terribly alive.
I stood up and walked towards him, stopping when our bodies were so close that only an inch of space separated us. I thought we would touch, but in that second he stilled. We were motionless. It was entirely sensory; I could feel the swell of heat that emanated from his body every time that he breathed, and I could see the sound vibrations rippling through space and time before I actually realized that he was talking. �How long is it?� he asked.
I didn�t move, not even to look up at him, and spoke into his chest. �One hour.�
�We should probably move now.�
Neither of us did.
�I was thinking,� he said to the air over my head, �That I should know everything about you before I go.�
�Where would you like to start?� I replied to his chest.
�What�what do you like about me?�
�The nape of your neck.�
I could hear him smile.
�What is the saddest colour?�
�Yellow.�
�What is your favourite word?� his voice was becoming slightly more Ethanish.
�Exalted. No, iridescent. Or slender�or maybe neanderthal.�
He laughed and we both shook. I grinned at his chest, which creased and flexed.
�Neanderthal? Why neanderthal?�
�Just try saying it.�
He paused, and then said �Neanderthal,� as though he were trying it on like clothing. I could hear his skepticism. It clouded me with grey waves.
�You can�t say it like that,� I said, �You have to relish it. Neeaaaaanderrrrthal.�
�Neaaaannnderthal,� he drawled.
�Neannn��
�Neeeeeeeaaaaann��
We both started laughing. This time as we shook my face slid against his chest. We held our position there and I smelled him, the bar-of-soap-and-cleaning-detergent crisp scent that lingered under the soft male smell. I could sense him sniffing at my hair, and my scalp quivered like it was exploding in pinpricks.
�Stop that.�
�Okay.�
He stepped back an inch again.
�Is there anything else you�d like to know about me?�
He considered. �What�s your least favourite word?�
�Pimp. Or sneer.� I said, thoughtful.
�Sneeeer.�
�Now you�re getting the hang of it.�
�I agree with you.�
�That you�re getting the hang of it?�
�No, that sneer is an ugly word.�
�I never said it was an ugly word.�
�Didn�t you?�
�I can�t remember.�
�Me neither.�
�How much longer?�
I studied the tiny hairs on his skin, and then I blew on them softly. They looked like reeds in a river. �You�re the one facing the clock, Ethan.�
�Well, it�s fifteen minutes.�
�Not too long.�
�Do you ever think that sometimes, the second hand doesn�t want to move so badly that it screams?� he said. I flinched.
�Nooo��
It got so quiet that we heard the ticking.
�I should probably get dressed now.�
�Yep.�
There was another break of silence and we both inhaled at the same time, so that our stomachs pressed together.
�It probably isn�t responsible for me to make them take me naked, huh?�
�Probably not,� I agreed.
He sighed.
�Did you hear that?�
�They�re here.�
�They�re here.� he echoed. �Don�t move.�
�I don�t think I have been.�
�I know. Just don�t move. Let�s just stand like this. Close your eyes. I don�t want you to see.�
�All right, Ethan.�
�Are your eyes closed?�
�They�re closed.�
�Do you promise?�
Crashing, the door behind us shattered as someone broke through it, and we both cringed. I kept my eyes closed and did not open them, even as unfamiliar arms brushed against me and knocked me off balance. A low, gravelly voice broke through the room. �Should we say anything�she�s just��
�Leave her.� said another voice. Legs moved, there was grunting, Ethan cried out, and the sound of him in pain made me cry out, and then what was left of the door was slammed shut. Footsteps in the hallway faded away. I found my previous spot on the floor and remained standing, eyes closed. �Ethan?� I called out quietly. There was no answer, and in front of my body I sensed no presence. The air was blank, wide, empty. I reached forward, hoping until my throat ached that my fingertips would graze his skin. Instead, my hand stretched into the air. I convulsed, emitted a small animal moan, and stumbled backwards into the chair behind me. I sat there with my hands folded on my knees, trembling. Suddenly I became aware that it was cold in the room. I shivered and drew my legs up, holding myself in a curl. Only then did I open my eyes.
I was alone.
I sighed, long and laboured.
Outside the rain shuddered down the window, and a yellow taxi pulled out onto the street and drove away.


Copyright, eyedream of blather

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