Never is a promise
07 November 2003 @ 10:36 pm

And, oh how I crave it.

_____________________

As I looked into those cobalt eyes, my whole world felt swallowed. Assimilated to his vision, and his vision only. My heart slowed, I could hear my breathing rasping through my head. At that moment I would have handed myself, in it's pitiful entirety, over to him, to do with as he pleased. The reality of it hurt me.

Leaning over, to hide the sadness in my eyes, I placed my cheek against his neck and breathed deeply. A faint trace of aftershave mingled harshly with the smell of my hairspray. He continued to watch TV, oblivious to the waves of emotion that rolled off of me.

I know, in my heart and in my head, that he will never love me. I know that, I really do. Soon he may come to realize as well. Maybe things will change, maybe once the ability to hope is gone I will let go.

No.

I'll just continue to express my love in scars on my flesh.
Aren't they beautiful?

Older Entries
This is the end of it. - 29 March 2004
Dream On - 22 February 2004
Until the Day I Die - 24 January 2004
It hurts to love him - 22 December 2003
Blood Brothers - 21 December 2003