I heart you...
13 May 2003 @ 11:50 am

I've been thinking about Jeffer a lot. It probably has to do with the fact that she was just on the front page of our local newspaper.

There she stands, with a smug little grin, that doesn't match the girl that I know. She's all decked out in her Marines Dress uniform. Nothing at all like that T-shirts and jeans that we both grew up in. Her brother is besides her, also in the uniform. He hasn't changed, still as funky looking as always.

I remember the first day of seventh grade. She showed up late to first period, which was her first undoing. A lot of us were new to the school then, but we knew better than to wear a jean jacket with our names stitched to the back in lace. Obviously a loving creation from a mother or grandmother, but so high on the innocent nerd list that I can't believe she made it through the day in one piece.

I was more concerned with fitting in then I was with making good friends, so when my "group" made fun of her, so did I. But for some reason she hung around. We had a lot of the same classes, and we lived about a mile apart, which was close for our area.

Eventually I was tired of putting on a facade and I'm glad I learned that at such a young age. It's quality, not quantity that counts when it comes to my friends. She was the class clown, put I understood her on a different level.

Even when I broke her nose in eighth grade, our friendship flickered then burned brighter. We had long and pointless conversations on the phone. We shared the same general taste in guys. We were both put into advanced classes. We held strong because we weren't like the others.

The more I encouraged her personality, the more popular she became. She was my hard work, she was my determination to show people that she wasn't just a nerd or a goofball, she was awesome in every way.

And I proved them all wrong.

But just like a child will stray farther and farther from their mother as their confidence grows, so did she. She didn't call as often. She had other things to do after school. When I went through one of the most traumatic ordeals of my life, she didn't care, or pretended that she didn't care convincingly enough.

When I returned to school after above said event, she had moved on to bigger and better things. She didn't need/want/like me anymore.

Jeffer had enrolled in the Marines, to follow in her father and older brothers footsteps. I thought that was awesome, because with her personality, she needed direction. Unfortunately I was leaning towards the Air Force so I wasn't cool enough anymore.

But still I tried.

To no avail.

She had left me in the dust.

All attempts to fix the friendship were stomped upon. I write, it takes six months for a reply. She comes home on leave and is conveniently unreachable.

But I do miss her, and I could really use the old Jeffer back in my life right now. Maybe I'm just retarded and can't let go.

I heart you Jeffer.

Older Entries
This is the end of it. - 29 March 2004
Dream On - 22 February 2004
Until the Day I Die - 24 January 2004
It hurts to love him - 22 December 2003
Blood Brothers - 21 December 2003