Isn't life grand? v.1
13 November 2003 @ 5:30pm

Well, my loyal readers (If I have any)... I think it's time for me to explain why I went missing for so many months.

Some you you may remember reading this which details my inviting Matt to my sisters graduation with me. Well, I 'forgot' to tell my lunatic stepdad that Matt was going. A couple nights later while he was browsing through the history he stumbled across the page. Needless to say we got into a knockdown dragout fight over it. Same old shit, he threatened to throw me out, made me promise I would never to do again. He'd draw up some stupid contract about how I needed to save my money, and was not allowed a boyfriend until I was 25.

I would like to insert here that this stepdad is chemically unbalanced. I was molested by him as a child/teenager for 10 years. To make a long story short, yes, I have gone to the police about it, yes I was accused of making it up because my mother took his side, yes he never went to prison like he should have. The only reason I moved back in is because my best friend and my boyfriend both decided it was too much trouble for me to be around them, and I had no one. My mother promised me things would be okay, and I believed her, just like the last time she said that.

So, that's why I stopped writing. I felt violated again by this man, and was afraid that he had read the whole thing. Apparently not.

The thing was all my promises to him meant nothing to me. I continued to talk to Matt, sent him hundreds of text messages, met him for lunch and all that. The day I got fired from my job which was partially my stepdads fault, Matt came and met me. Over the course of that night, we became a couple.

Now the problem is no job meant no contact with Matt. I would wait until my stepdad passed out, sneak out to the porch swing and talk to Matt in the dark. Eventually Matt asked if it was safe to come see me while the stepdick was asleep. He showed up and we made out for awhile, being careful to stay outside the window where we could see if he woke up.

Things got a little heated and the SD ended up catching us, both in some form of undress. He kicked me out that night. Matt said I could stay with him. I grabbed what I could, loaded it in to my truck and had absolutely no intention of ever looking back. I thought I was free.

I was wrong...

...

More to come.

Older Entries
This is the end of it. - 29 March 2004
Dream On - 22 February 2004
Until the Day I Die - 24 January 2004
It hurts to love him - 22 December 2003
Blood Brothers - 21 December 2003